There is something deeply traditional, if not a bit sacred (and I don't think it's too much to so characterize it), about traveling to be present with one's daughter who "lives away" at the time of the arrival of a newborn. Especially as this relates to the role of the mother/grandmother.
We've had, and been grateful for, precious early access to grandsons 1-3 - including hospital invites at the very earliest opportunity - all right here in Phoenix - incredibly gracious of the new parents to share these moments with us. This was a bit different - after all it's been nearly 32 years since PJ and I were in repeated all-day-every-day contact with a newborn. OK it's not entirely analogous to those 1980s days because we didn't have the same level of responsibility. But still. Thanks to Kerry and Luis (and of course Ollie), we were able to experience all these days in full . . . in a way that wouldn't quite happen in Phoenix because there we are proximate to our normal lives (a very good thing, just different-by-definition). Bottom line this was special, we wonder will it ever happen again?
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| K surrounded by her "small creatures" |
One does forget (though memories quickly flood back!) how life-with-a-newborn telescopes into three-four hour cycles (sometimes less) of eating, sleeping, diapering, etc. With it-never-gets-old baby-gazing at every opportunity between. Not much bandwidth for visitors or tasks. Simplifies things! Skipping news, sports (even including the NBA finals though that was partly a time-zone thing), twitter feed, etc. Didn't miss it much (perhaps something to learn here).
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| Ollie getting his very first bath (yes it's fun to see this event) |
Kerry and Luis seem so natural as first-time parents - that was nice to see. Could they have gotten through this first stage on their own? Of course (and they would have done great). But PJ and I - by far moreso PJ - helped with many basic household and newborn-handling tasks, errand-running, etc. And K&L claim they benefited from watching us (again, much moreso PJ) doing all those Ollie-handling tasks.
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| daddy with his first-born (for the moment, swaddled in the "Ollie" brand blankie) |
We were more or less together continuously for three weeks (quite a bit more in PJ's case). I know it had to be tiresome from time to time for K&L - I mean their space was continually invaded (even if by helpers) - but somehow they never showed it. As with prior visits, it's effortless and fun to be with them in their home. Plus we liked the various thoughtful touches incorporated into our basement quarters.
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| as described below - we happened to have in our travel stuff the clippers used on our kids - which in turn had been picked up from Ollie's Great-Great Grandpa Mike Bormann . . . PJ does the honors here |
Below are some details of my time in VA. But moreso when I look back on these days I want to remember how it felt. There is a certain "glow" around these days with the newborns (I know I used that term with the prior three grandchildren but blithely repeat myself). Also as observed with Romie, Xavi, Leo - the fleetingness of the newborn phase - it goes past so quickly - there is so much busyness with the tasks - parents are exhausted, mother is physically recovering - put this all together and the details of these first days can be rather difficult to remember, and then the newborn very quickly is not-a-newborn-anymore. All the more reason we appreciated being onsite for this one.
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| two buddies - a familiar sight during the second shift |
Little things that I wouldn't otherwise remember. Newborns with what I'll call the startle reflex - as you move them around (esp. up/down) or just because, they kind of throw up their arms, sometimes shaking them, it somewhat alarms the newborn, counteracting this is one of the benefits of swaddling. Watching Ollie reminds that even after just a couple weeks, this is much less disconcerting for the bebe. Learning so fast!
Ollie immediately so very interested in looking at the person holding him - even right after being born - is he really making, or trying to make, some level of eye contact this early? Seems yes but really? After a couple weeks or so there is no doubt that he is seeing more/better, focusing. More awake time. Newborn phase passing by in a blink.
The little sounds the newborns make while working on the bottle. The fresh way they smell; the way they nestle in under one's chin. Scrawny little legs with surprising power. The way they recognize and respond to mommy & daddy (perhaps because these were the voices they heard so regularly in the womb?)
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| All signs indicate that these two shall get along famously. Mae was endlessly fascinated by the newest family member. |
The ridiculous cuteness of their little outfits; I prefer Ollie's "fox" outfit (and am excited to learn Xavi has the same glorious get-up!) Gifts received and arriving from family and friends - fun to look at these and consider the thoughtfulness that went into them. (Plus the immediate family has some really-current expertise as to what works.) The phone calls coming in from the siblings.
Perhaps nothing new or startling here, but truly a joy to observe first-hand and in detail.
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| Speaking of Mae - the Arlington office of the Phoenix Law Group features an alert guard dog! |
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| courtesy of Maga-Pedro babysitting, the four of us had a lovely evening down at the Wharf (Hank's Oyster Bar); weather and company couldn't have been nicer |
Also as with Romie, Xavi, Leo - how being around the newborns (Ollie of course here) makes me, at least, think constantly about all the generations I've known. Remembering phrases we used with our children; phrases we heard our parents and grandparents use. Singing "bye-o-bye-o baby" and "you are my sunshine" - Helen Bormann Gales and Mike Bormann, respectively, would have been so happy to hear this. I even trotted out "Du du liegst mir em herzen."
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| we so enjoyed regularly seeing Pedro and Maga |
Minutiae: when it came time for Ollie's first fingernail-clipping exercise - PJ recalls old clippers that she had used with our five - too long a story as to how they originally came into my possession in 1974, but yes these were my Grandpa Mike Bormann's nail clippers way back when. Yes I liked watching my wife clip our grandson's nails with my grandfather's tool that she had used with our young ones . . . and she used the same technique as pioneered-by-necessity with Nicole in 1981, i.e. avoid untoward snips by waiting until the newborn is fast asleep.
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| much enjoyed seeing Steve and Carrie and their (suddenly not so) little family |
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| great to see Ricky & Bea as well (fortuitous timing plus they made the effort to work in a visit . . . ) |
We settle into our routine. As a share-the-load method, overnights break into two shifts - L&K take the first shift (PJ and I off to bed by 10:30p plus/minus); PJ and I are scheduled to take over at say 3:30a. Except somehow this evolves to 2:30a for PJ (who can't seem to wait), while I sleep in until 5a and even a 5:45a and a 6a once (rationalizing on the basis that PJ had it under control - also I was pretty busy with work (which went well in K&L's basement) (and high-level lawyering, or whatever I'm only-occasionally doing at this point, requires sleep, right?)) PJ with good success keeping Ollie schweeping after first feeding of second shift until more or less "normal" morning time, when K&L would come down the steps, we would be greeted by happy-rested Mae, the coffee-brewing process would start, and away we went for another fine day.
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| a fine little family! |
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| how nice that POC 'n NOC were able to visit! |
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| our first time at a Nationals game (D'backs win!) |
Ricky and Bea were in town and made a point to stop by - their late afternoon visit was a lot of fun.
Also saw Kim and Ike and Zara, plus Christina; also the Jackshaw family - excellent visits that also went by too fast.
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| this turned out well! - Nick and Christina were at the game with us (and Blue Jacket after) |
And it turned out that the Diamondbacks were in town - so we were joined by Nicole for several days (and a couple overnights), also saw POC a couple times. Had a fine outing to the Nationals stadium for a game on Saturday 15 June (thanks, POC) - Dbacks win, Nick and Christina join us, we swing by "Blue Jacket" for quite-excellent beers after - this was a fine evening.
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| pretty much my favorite thing about hanging out with Ollie - he seriously pays attention! |
And it happened that we were in VA for Father's Day - in addition to a fine chat with my dad (63rd time I've had Father's Day with him!), we observed Luis's first Father's Day - and were joined by Pedro and Maga - a fine Sunday.
On my last day before returning to Phoenix, Kerry and I finally had a (or took the) chance to check out a new place less than a half-mile from their house - Meridian Pint - we were pretty pleased with the beer selection there (not to mention the fried oysters, of which we ordered a to-go portion for PJ). Then we ordered dinner from Lost Dog - oh that strange-but-fine Polynesian pizza - and played Five Crowns a bit.
The next morning it was, sadly, time to get to the airport. I think this was the longest that I've ever been "away from home" - but the time just flew by, K&L (& O, now) couldn't have been better hosts or more delightful companions - sorry to leave them (and my little wife for a bit longer also).
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| at Meridian Pint on my last evening, sad to be leaving . . . |
Repeating per above - this was a fine and unique experience - not to be forgotten.
[Below is a quick sampling of the professional photographer's very fine work (the key players plus PJ's quite fine blanket.]
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| week-old Ollie! |
