"In his domestic administration my father had this system . . . to keep a journal and insert in it all occurrences of any note . . . A record very pleasant to look at when time begins to efface the memory of events, and very well suited to get us out of perplexity: When was such and such a thing begun? When completed? What retinues came? How long did they stay? Our trips, our absences; marriages; deaths; the receipt of happy or unhappy news . . . An ancient custom, which I think it would be good to revive, each man in each man's home. And I think I am a fool to have neglected it." (Montaigne, Book I, Essay 35 (publ. 1580))

Saturday, February 09, 2013

Loss

My little sister, Mary, died on January 23, 2013.  She was 48.

It is a big loss.

I like this photo of Mary from her wedding day (May 23, 1998).  (It was used for the program at the memorial service on Thursday night, 1/31/13.)

It was good to be together with the whole family up in Iowa for her burial, and gracious of Steve Rottler to make it happen.  Don, Andy & Sandy also were incredibly thoughtful throughout (including A&S hosting PJ and me during our short trip to Seattle).  I was glad Kerry was able to make it up to Iowa with us.  The Capesius-hosted family dinner on Friday night (February 1) at the county nature conservancy gathering-hall was good and helpful; the Mass and doings in St. Joe the next day (February 2) were all extremely nice (not to mention well thought out); we also enjoyed hanging around the AmericInn lobby late-night.  Among many other occurrences.

People have been incredibly kind.

I think I took for granted that we in the family would have an indefinite period of time in which to shape and enjoy our relationships as adults.  But we don't.

I continue to have lots of other thoughts and feelings about this, but for now will just post an archive copy of my already-public thoughts as prepared for the congregation at the Mass (below).

Flowers from Clarence & Caroline mark Mary's grave.  Nick & Theresa Gales headstone at end of the row (Mary's great-grandparents).  Visible in deep left-center background (esp. if photo is enlarged): glimpse of the building site on the farm just outside St. Joe purchased by Nick Gales; this farm is where Ernest J. & Veronica Gales raised their family; this is where where Ernest M. Gales grew up; this is where we as children celebrated holidays, walked beans, and had lots of other experiences.  
(Charlie photo, 2/3/13) (Click to enlarge.)







In addition to posting the comments from the Mass below, I'm including two other archive items below:
  • memorial program
  • some pretty remarkable remembrances of Mary that were publicly posted on the funeral home website (not sure how long that site will be accessible so will save a copy here).


Mary (Final With Postscript) by pgales56
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